Slaughter

Schlockier than Tesla, stupider than Queensryche, simpier than Extreme, these sluts win the Consumer Guide Lead Dildo for the most godawful new metal band to go platinum since the last time I checked. They're not even overly offensive--Mark Slaughter slaughters no one, and despite the bimbo-with-knives cover limits the misogyny to one gold digger and one sex predator. She's got "notches in her belt," and by then I was so bored I was aggrieved to learn it wasn't "nachos in her bed." (Grade: D)